i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
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