Pregnant stripper...not hot.
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
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