the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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