I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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