we need to drink 2009 down the drain
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
I use my feet as sexual weapons
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