i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
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