dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
