You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
Randomize