I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
Randomize
