I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Randomize
