my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
Randomize
