The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
I think pants incapable of making pants work
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
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