yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
Randomize