Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
Randomize
