sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
Randomize
