Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
not ubering you a puppy
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
