so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Randomize
