I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
Randomize
