we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize
