standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
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