"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
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