Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
