just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Randomize
