i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
