there was a trapeze. enough said
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
Randomize