She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
Randomize
