think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
Randomize
