It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Randomize
