I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize
