I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
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