He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
I thought I drunk dialed Adam last night and left him a voicemail. I just checked my phone. I realize I left a drunk voicemail with my son's teacher.
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
Randomize
