I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Randomize
