Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
Im part way to drunk.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
Randomize
