she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Randomize
