Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
