Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Randomize
