I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
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