I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
Randomize
