Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
