all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Randomize
