my mouth tastes like poor choices
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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