super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
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