I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
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