speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
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