apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
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