he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
