as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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