you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
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