dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
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