I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
Slut skills are useful in every country.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
Randomize
