I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
Randomize
