we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize
