:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
he puts the penis in happiness.
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
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