butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize